Snot on my shoulders

I apologize in advance for the following. I'm just gonna be real for a second...Is that OK? Alright, So here goes.... UGHGHGH I am a GERM A PHOBE!!! My poor baby Butter is drooling and snotting everywhere and I'm pretty sure at one point in the day, I said the words, "Stop Snotting on me!" Mature right? I know... but it just puts me on edge. I love my kids, and enjoy loving on them when they are sick but when it comes to ridiculous amounts of wet grossness, mixed with unending crying, I just have anxiety. I mean maybe I am a horrible mom for feeling this way but I know I can not be the only one out there who deals with these feelings.Then there is the opposite side of the spectrum and that is the invisible snot! The kind you can hear but can not see.. I'm really not sure which is worse for me to handle, the sound or the sight. Cowboy is dealing with that side. And for whatever reason he has forgotten how to BLOW his nose so I bet you can guess what I'm hearing all day long and the frustration that overwhelms me when I say blow and he sucks it in. Add that to constant whining back and fourth, and one aggravating the other, (mainly the bigger one not leaving the little one alone) I have been living on the edge dealing with snot and cranky boys for a few days now. Lou is still at her cousins house until this evening and I am praying that when she returns to boogerville, that she does not catch it again. They all just got over this coughing, runny nose nonsense and were fine for a week :( It saddens me because I don't like seeing them miserable, and my kids never get sick so this is really all new to me ! My husband has also been swamped with work, which is a love hate thing. I love that he is so busy and has work but it bites at the same time. This little green guy has become my best friend but yet causing me to be feared in the eyes of the little people :(

I know I have probably done things today out of frustration and said things to them that jolted their little spirits. They don't deserve that. I am not perfect. I mess up, and I cant go back and change it. I am trying to be transparent for the sake of just maybe one person out there may stumble upon this and know they aren't alone. I needed to write this for myself mainly to look back on to know that its ok to have bad days, we all have things that we deal with that makes us turn "Crazy" but its how we deal with it that matters. I have been taking deep breaths and praying constantly because I know this too will pass...Ive had to go in my bathroom a few times today and just pray God, FORGIVE ME, I MESSED UP....AGAIN and AGAIN.... please be my rock today, my helper, I need some Grace. Ironically enough, I have also laughed a good bit knowing that God is using this little situation to make me stronger. Snot of all things? I mean just reading that, its such a dumb thing. On edge over some snot and tears? It is such a small thing but its what has turned that bad switch on in my brain. In the past I have tried fixing things on my own, trying to control every situation on my own or wanting someone else to fix it for me. Basically telling God, I'm bigger than you are because I got this. Or thinking oh such and such will handle it. Putting my trust and faith in myself or someone other than him. Who am I without him? Who am I to think that Little ole me can fix it all... I still struggle in this area because I just recently realized what I was doing. But this marks a milestone in my life a small step towards a victory. I may have failed today and lost it but I also won in the sense that I gained wisdom and guidance. I put God before myself today, and let him lead the rest of the way. It was super hard and I still had my moments of weakness after going to him, but I can finally see what he means that his power will be shown through my weakness. Today is just one of many examples of why the title of my blog is called Learning in Grace.... And only one out of thousands of my weaknesses.... Note to self- His Grace is sufficient for you ;)

They deserve the BEST me I can be.

Simple Love and Kindness

Sometimes people get so caught up in life, I for one have a habit of this. I try to be kind and considerate to others as much as possible because so many people are not and its good to be kind and generous. Just to let others see the Jesus in you. Well this morning I had to run to the grocery store just me and the boys. My helper Lou had a girl scout outing today. She is very helpful, I miss her when she is gone but she totally deserves breaks :) Anyway, I manage without her. So I am loading up the van with two boys and groceries I only had a few, and I was almost done when this old man walks up and offers to take my buggy and put it away for me. How sweet and considerate that was. I know its a small thing but there are not many people out there like him these days. So I smiled and said, "thank you so much." Like I said not a big deal to most, but for me it was a huge help. As I was leaving, he pulled out behind me. As I watched him from my rear view mirror he had a huge Golden Retriever riding shot gun. He was talking to him and letting him lick him and just saw love in that man. I needed that. I needed to see the fathers Love today and be reminded of the simple things in life. That dog may have been the only thing that man had, yet he was full of Joy and Peace. And it just blessed me. As he turned at the 4way stop and went on about his day I just prayed Lord I hope that when people look at me they see your Love inside me, and may that overflow onto my kids and my grandkids. I get busy sometimes and caught up in my own world that I forget that I as a believer am to be a light in this dark world. I also prayed for that man, that the Lord would just bless him for his "little" yet big act of kindness he showed me today. :) Thank you Lord for your Love and Kindness.

Introduction

So I guess I will start off by introducing what this blog is really all about ...and my life in general. "My little Responsibilities." I call them that because a friend of mine jokes about how I never have time for her any more due to my Responsibilities. But she is of course joking, and loves them all :) I thought to keep this semi private that I would come up with little names for each of them. Its not a huge deal but I think it would be fun and it tells a little about each of their own personalities.

First BORN- My Princess, my heaven sent Angel- LOU. She gets all the credit, besides God first and foremost, for making me into the person I am today. She was my lifesaver, and to this day, my "Act Right" Stick. She keeps me in check for sure. Why Lou? Well she just is and always will be my Lou Bell thats always been her little name so its only fitting that it stays. If it works, work it :) She is 10 years old and trust me, she is going on 30 with her wisdom and outlook on life. Lou is an amazing BIG sister, but wasn't always one.. she had us all to herself for 7 years. In saying that she took right to the job of Big Sis and has not complained ehh ok maybe once or twice, but mostly just has those back in the day flash backs at times. She is currently moving into the 5th grade. She has the most amazing teacher! PAHAHAHA Just kidding sorry just choked a little bit- But no really she is homeschooled, and if you asked her she would be all " I love it" which I'm sure she does but she has her moments for sure.

First SON- My wittle Man- my first boy, my solider... my COWBOY. Cowboy is something of a turbo charged non stop engine. He is 3 years old and lives currently in his fathers shadow. He was such a mommas boy when he was born, but he hit 2 and that was all she wrote. Cowboy loves to dress up and act as if he is a real cowboy. He often climbs on furniture and dances around all the while singing I'm a Cowboy- that is in no reference to Kid Rock, this kid makes up his own kinda sayings. His first actually that I would have to call his trademark would be BLICKA BLICKA WHA- and I'm still not sure what he was trying to tell us when he would say that but who cares, it was so darn cute. I am going to attempt to teach him a few things this year in what I would call trial run preschool. Cowboy has somewhat of a strong WILL to say the least and I am sure going to give me a run for my money. I am totally looking forward to that- and I wish you could hear the sarcasm in my voice right now.

Second SON- None other than- BUTTER... Did you gasp and say "Butter?" Why in the world? Well when he was born Cowboy was 2 and couldn't really talk well, instead of brother, or bubba, he could only say Butter... So it stuck, I know I know... poor kid! But no really he is our Butter we all call him that and he was a surprising addition to our family, but The Lord knew what he was doing. Butter is 13 months old. He is so easy going and laid back. But WARNING- TODDLER ALERT THIS JUST IN - in the past few weeks he has developed somewhat of a temper/attitude. He could also easily be named the boss. Because he likes his stuff and is tired of Cowboy taking it all, which also bleeds over into if we take something from him he wants to fuss at us too. The main things about butter is #1 this kid loves food... if your yards away from him and he hears a bag or anything crinkle.. you can bet... he is on the move toward you. Hands lifted high! Butter also likes to sleep FINALLY I am thankful for that. He kept us awake for the first 11 months of his life. Its going to be fun for sure trying to keep this little guy entertained while trying to teach the other two. But GOD ! We got this :)

And last but fo sho not least- My Honey-Do :), my best friend, my helper,my jack of all trades, my Clyde- Joey- he doesn't get a fun name because well I cant think of one at the moment, I mean I have a few ideas, Obviously see above- but if you knew me, making decisions is not my thing. I hate it. But anyways- This man is a keeper for sure. He can fix anything. He can solve pretty much any issue and makes life alot easier for me :) since I am no good at it. Where I fall, hes there to catch me. I love that about him. He loves the Lord, and for that alone I am truly thankful for. He is the bread winner, the go getter the HUSTLER!! AHHHH that should have been his name but I'm not so sure how that would come across. When I say Hustler, I am meaning he is always trying new things to benefit and provide for our family. We own a handyman business and Sell and fix up Golf Carts. And we love craigslist and auctions YUPPPPP- I say "we" like I help, in which I do in fact today's post will have a few ways I contribute - but handy Britt- Negative. I try to be smart when he talks about tools,controllers, motors,Sheetrock and fittings, but lets just be real- I can use a power tool, but only if forced and daddy is not home. I love him and he makes me a better me. Thank you Honey-Do Hustler :)